So Lets Talk About Sexy?

Sexy: sexually interesting or exciting; radiating sexuality; excitingly appealing; glamorous.

-according to Dictionary.com

I would never use the word sexy to describe myself. I do not consider myself a sexy person and according to the definition listed above my self-categorization of non-sexy girl is correct. I consider myself more in the awkward category. And I do not mean awkward in a cute wearing my glasses and twirling my hair kind of way, the sexy nerdy thing. I mean awkward in the sense that I trip over imaginary objects, push my glasses up the bridge of nose while I am slumped over my computer, and have absolutely no idea how to approach a man.

While in an intimate situation I would like to think that I am sexy and maybe even seductive but I don’t think uncontrollable giggling constitutes the title of "sexy woman who knows what she is doing". I rely heavily on sarcasm, which unfortunately often goes over people’s heads, and I come off as the bitch that I secretly am during girl’s only dinner. I find myself resorting to Helga Patacky, you know the girl with the unibrow from “Hey Arnold”, while attempting to flirt. I tease or am sometimes down right mean. While this does not make me traditionally sexy it does make me a really solid wingman. It turns me into the kind of friend every gal wants by her side on a manhunt at the bar. 

In the post-grad life in order to get noticed at the local bar a woman needs to exude both sexiness and confidence in order to gain attention from the opposite sex.  I am not usually lucky enough to be that woman however, I have started to discover something that I think might be a key to success for a non-traditional sex appeal. I try to just be plain old exciting. I try to go about my business fearlessly. For example I will break traditional gender roles and walk across the bar to the bathroom unaccompanied. I like to trade in the tasteless vodka tonic or super fruity drink for a good ol’ beer. I’ve even begun to just wear comfortable clothes that make me happy rather than an uber tight dress which I would usually find myself pulling and adjusting all night. In my new way of life comfort is key.

While on my single post-grad man hunt I have decided to abandon this warped view of what women should do to be sexy or even the notion that a woman needs to be sexy. My adult version of myself finds comfort in taking a date to the baseball game, where I am comfortable in converse and a baseball hat. I drink beers and cheer for my team. Trading in stilettos for sneakers was probably the best choice I have made in a while. While my date thought my screaming for my team or knowledge of the players was a bit intense he appreciated my enthusiasm and hopefully my comfort. And although he probably would not say it was a sexy date, it was a fun night where two people could get to know one another without one constantly trying to readjust her uncomfortable undergarments because she was attempting to have that sexy look Victoria’s Secret tells her she needs to score a man.

While I am not a sexy woman and I hope that I do not stand alone here, I do think I am an ok kind of woman. I believe that being who you are and doing what you want to do will make more people want to be around you. Although I may not be the first one approached at the bar I like to think I am the kind of person that my friends and people I care for want to be around. I like to be the personality in the group not the girl invited to keep the sexy quota up in the group.