Girl in a Country Song

This is hilarious video touches on this ridiculous standard set for women today. As a lover of country music I have never stopped to think about what these songs are suggesting about women and the expectations that men have from these songs. The songs talks about the cliche's set up in the music industry today and then puts men in the "woman's" role!

A little piece of history

In moving forward it is key to use to the past as building block for a stronger future. I wanted to share a speech that I wrote for my senior will, it is a little piece of me that I wanted to leave behind in the organization where I spent my 4 years of college. I feel in love with my sorority and my sisters and without Phi Sig, the zeta zeta chapter, I would not be who I am today. 

I want to start with a forewarning: this may take more than the allotted 2 minutes but I have served my time in this chapter for 4 years so I have decided I am entitled to say everything I need to say.

So senior wills are mostly the same thing being said again and again. They are emotional, sappy, and can get a little monotonous and boring. I would like to talk to you guys today as the self-proclaimed ruler of the land of bad decisions. I am here to hop off the hot mess express for a few minutes to talk to you about being a liability and a sister for the past 4 years. I might cry a little bit because as you know I am most likely to crying during a pregame while shoving nips into my top. I wish I could stand up here and tell you that I was hopelessly devoted to this chapter since day 1, but that would be a lie and I am not going to stand up here and tell you things aren’t true. I am going to be honest, Greek life was a way to get closer my older OL Greek life first crush, get over my ex, and extend my social life beyond the new haven club scene. I also came for the killer t-shirts and philanthropy profile pictures so everyone would know just how involved I am.

I want to say something to the new members first, hi ladies. You might know me as the senior who is constantly making a scene, yelling about something, and always in some kind of predicament. I want to tell you right now that the next 4 years are going to be the most incredible roller coaster ride you have ever been on. Things will get hard, there will be drama, and you will feel fed up and angry some days but stick it out, these are your sisters and things will get messy at times but they will also be beautiful. Now you might think I’m a little crazy but I want to let you know that it is good to be me. It is good to be the fun one, the person to complain to, or the one any sister can call when she needs to go out for a drink (or 5). One of you will take on my role by your senior year and to that woman I want to wish you luck because these are some big shoes to fill. I hope all of you, including sophomores and juniors, will take a little advice from me and live it up. Don’t be afraid to take risks and even act ridiculous sometimes. It is ok to make a scene. The memories that will come from being a hot mess will stick with you forever and your sisters will be the ones there to help you fix the pieces of your shambly life.

I want to give a shout out to my amazing LDF fam. Thank you for putting up with my shenanigans over the last couple of years. I am out of control, I know and I’m working on it (lol). You guys have supported me through everything and there are no words to describe my love for you. I want to tell everyone that my twin, our sweetheart, is the most amazing man. He taught me what I deserve from others, how I should be treated, and how to channel my inner Queen B. To my little who is not here right now I want to say that I never knew a love could exist like the love I feel for you. I found a little princess who I utterly adore and think is the most precious princess on this planet. I found someone too look out for. I know I sound creepy and obsessive but that’s exactly what my love for you is. G babe, GG, and 3 G you ladies are my rockstars. I have a lot to say to you but I wont bore the whole chapter, I’ll make you sit through that alone. It has been hard for me to surrender control to the younger generations, that fate of this family means everything to me but I can honestly say I could not be more proud of the women in this family. I know you’ll carry on my legacy after I am gone, fulfill the roles of your nicknames, and live up to the LDF name. I love, adore, and respect you more than I can even describe and am so happy that I can call you my younger sisters.

I am now standing at the finish line of this marathon called college I can tell you my original reasons for joining have nothing to do with the reasons I stayed. While most of my time in Phi Sig has been devoted to fun and games, just like I thought it would when I accepted my bid, over the course of the last 4 years I found something I did not even know I was looking for or needed. This organization helped me to find, believe in, and love myself. I could have never done this without my sisters. I have had the pleasure to meet some of the most incredible, strong, confident, funny, educated, and worldly women. I found my soul mates here, I found my best friends, and I found my bridesmaids (now all I need is to find a man). The relationship we in this room have is different, we are sisters. We can be who we are and say what we feel because the women in this room share your letters and that means they share a piece of your heart. We share pride in ourselves, in our organization, and most importantly in our values. Having you all as my sisters means that I know I will never face this world alone. The love I have for you and this chapter is a forever kind of thing.

When we signed our bid cards we became part of something bigger but the way I see it is something bigger became a part of me. I have not always been happy or easy going when it came to rules and regulations but I know without those rules I wouldn’t be here today, meaning I probably wouldn’t have made it passed freshman year. When I am forced to walk across the library steps and get a piece of paper that says I worked my butt off the last 4 years there is no one else that I want beside me more than my sisters. So while I did originally come here for a good time, cool shirts, and the ability to grow as a social butterfly, is not what I am going to miss when this is all over. I am going to miss this incredible sisterhood and the amazing people I cannot thank for making me into the woman I am today.

So Lets Talk About Sexy?

Sexy: sexually interesting or exciting; radiating sexuality; excitingly appealing; glamorous.

-according to Dictionary.com

I would never use the word sexy to describe myself. I do not consider myself a sexy person and according to the definition listed above my self-categorization of non-sexy girl is correct. I consider myself more in the awkward category. And I do not mean awkward in a cute wearing my glasses and twirling my hair kind of way, the sexy nerdy thing. I mean awkward in the sense that I trip over imaginary objects, push my glasses up the bridge of nose while I am slumped over my computer, and have absolutely no idea how to approach a man.

While in an intimate situation I would like to think that I am sexy and maybe even seductive but I don’t think uncontrollable giggling constitutes the title of "sexy woman who knows what she is doing". I rely heavily on sarcasm, which unfortunately often goes over people’s heads, and I come off as the bitch that I secretly am during girl’s only dinner. I find myself resorting to Helga Patacky, you know the girl with the unibrow from “Hey Arnold”, while attempting to flirt. I tease or am sometimes down right mean. While this does not make me traditionally sexy it does make me a really solid wingman. It turns me into the kind of friend every gal wants by her side on a manhunt at the bar. 

In the post-grad life in order to get noticed at the local bar a woman needs to exude both sexiness and confidence in order to gain attention from the opposite sex.  I am not usually lucky enough to be that woman however, I have started to discover something that I think might be a key to success for a non-traditional sex appeal. I try to just be plain old exciting. I try to go about my business fearlessly. For example I will break traditional gender roles and walk across the bar to the bathroom unaccompanied. I like to trade in the tasteless vodka tonic or super fruity drink for a good ol’ beer. I’ve even begun to just wear comfortable clothes that make me happy rather than an uber tight dress which I would usually find myself pulling and adjusting all night. In my new way of life comfort is key.

While on my single post-grad man hunt I have decided to abandon this warped view of what women should do to be sexy or even the notion that a woman needs to be sexy. My adult version of myself finds comfort in taking a date to the baseball game, where I am comfortable in converse and a baseball hat. I drink beers and cheer for my team. Trading in stilettos for sneakers was probably the best choice I have made in a while. While my date thought my screaming for my team or knowledge of the players was a bit intense he appreciated my enthusiasm and hopefully my comfort. And although he probably would not say it was a sexy date, it was a fun night where two people could get to know one another without one constantly trying to readjust her uncomfortable undergarments because she was attempting to have that sexy look Victoria’s Secret tells her she needs to score a man.

While I am not a sexy woman and I hope that I do not stand alone here, I do think I am an ok kind of woman. I believe that being who you are and doing what you want to do will make more people want to be around you. Although I may not be the first one approached at the bar I like to think I am the kind of person that my friends and people I care for want to be around. I like to be the personality in the group not the girl invited to keep the sexy quota up in the group.